Have you ever come to a place in your journey of life where you can’t see a second in front of you?  Or better yet you’re afraid to even look because of all the storms you’ve been facing?  The future, of course is always unknown, but often times we at least have a plan, a projected road to follow or possibly some hopes and dreams to look to.  At times though we are faced with circumstances that blind our vision forward.

Last year, 2016 was a tough year for my family and for me and my health.  As I journeyed into 2017 I declared it would be different.  I even clearly remember submitting it to God with excitement as to what he had planned.  You see I thought I saw a glimpse of the road ahead of me and I thought it looked hopeful.  The road I thought I saw has been nothing of what it has really been.  This year I have endured great struggle with my health from chronic lyme disease, to kidney issues, and most recently a stroke in which I am still recovering from.  Along with health issues, the job I put my heart and soul into for the past year is now coming to an abrupt close and I am left looking at an unknown future.   The future unknown to me, but known to my creator and that is where I must place my trust.

Honestly though, I often feel like I am in the driest wilderness with the barely enough strength to look up.  I am reminded of what the Lord says in Isaiah 43:19, “See, I am doing a new thing!  Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?  I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”  What I really want to say to the Lord is, “NO – I don’t see it.  I can’t even see anything from the dry grounds I stand on.”  If I allow my focus to be on my circumstances I can honestly say I will die in the wilderness, but if I allow my focus to remain on the Lord I then can see his way and see the streams he will lead me to.  THIS IS A CHOICE I MUST CHOOSE TO MAKE!  This is not what comes easy and not necessarily what I’m naturally led to do.  This is a day by day submission to the Lord and to his ways.  It’s constantly laying it at his feet and saying, yes Lord, I will trust you.  I will trust you today and I will trust you tomorrow.  I will trust you in my pain and I will trust you in my disappointments.  It’s knowing as is said in Deuteronomy 31:8 that “the Lord God himself goes before me and he will be with me; that he will never leave me nor forsake me.  That I am not to be afraid and nor be discouraged.”

Without His word I am afraid and I am discouraged. But his word is what I stand on and what I choose to believe.  His word releases my fear and my discouragement.  His word gives me hope for a new day.  I don’t know what tomorrow holds or how long the wilderness will last.  Jeremiah 10:23 says, “Lord, we know that people do not control their own destiny.  It is not in their power to determine what will happen to them.”  While there are moments I think I know what’s best…truly I don’t as my thoughts are not the Lords.  So today I say thank you Lord for bringing me this far.  Thank you for another day and thank you Lord that you will guide me in my tomorrow.  When the question is asked, “What now?”  My answer is simply whatever the Lord has next.